Tuesday, May 4, 2010

I have to stop

If I had my way, I won't actually stop writing about Husayn from the day after his best friend left. But I have too. I don't want to think about it so much, but I just can't help it.

As usual, early in the morning when I was preparing breakfast for Ameera and hubby, Husayn will ask some for himself too - bread with chocolate spread, cut into four small squares or triangles and placed in a plastic bag. This time, the minute I handed over his breakfast pack to him, he said

Mummy, can I go to Nadeen's house after this?

I just ignored him but he didn't stop asking the same question. So, I reminded him that Nadeen wasn't at home anymore. She's now in Malaysia. The conversation went on and he started to cry, asking when she would be back, who lived in her house now, etc. etc.

The whole day, everytime he did something, ate something or saw something that could be related to Nadeen (no matter how remote), he would relate it and talk about her. At one point, it just broke my heart when he asked me,

Mummy, is Nadeen coming back tomorrow so I can go to her house and play with her?

I tried to explain again and not surprisingly, he started to cry again. This time, he asked who was going to play with him since Nadeen was no longer around any longer. It's just so hard for me. I can't exactly explain how I feel right now but whatever it is, it really, really, makes me sad. For Husayn, he still thinks that some time soon, Nadeen will come back and be re-united with him.

I know it will be the same for the next few days, but I promise to post no more sad stories. Somehow, during a break from this whole episode, I just smiled to myself. What will it be like in 10 years time or more, when both of them are a bit more grown up and after a while of not meeting each other (because I know with this current financial situation, I don't see us going home even for holidays)?

Will Husayn still miss his little best friend? He might feel embarrased reading this, but I think it will be the sweetest moment he will have in his childhood.


Syuhada said...

Alahai touching nye!... sian usayn, yela budak kan, tambah umur bru 3 taun, takes time la dia nk paham..

harris said...

mama cakap: wan sedih sgt tgk husayn. nak wat cemane. tu la. doa le bebanyak. bole balik msia.

ayeh ckp: ape la husayn ni. tak rock la.

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